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 is it better just to leave?!

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yummy_mummy_lizzy



Number of posts : 44
Age : 34
Location : milton keynes
Registration date : 2008-03-31

is it better just to leave?! Empty
PostSubject: is it better just to leave?!   is it better just to leave?! Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20 2008, 19:12

me and alan have been arguing and its been getting worse and worse as have our money probs but he refuses to sell anything of his and thinks i should get rid of all my stuff and refuses to loose things like sky or the net or house phone etc cos of he's enjoying living the life even though we're living outside of our means.
he wants me to go back to work but he works all night and sleeps all day and so zach would have to go to nursery and then id be working to pay someone else to look after my kid and have no money left OR he'd go to his nan's which is out of the question for several reasons.
anyway, it feels like he's a child and im the only adult in the house and so i try and take control of the situation like an adult and he throws a tantrum and sulks and makes life even harder! i just dont know what to do anymore for the best.
our arguing is starting to affect zach aswell which breaks my heart it's so sad. is it better to just leave?
if i leave then i'll be living off the state and i hate when people do that if they dont need to. ive tried talking to him but he doesn't listen or he doesn't absorb it so what can i do?!
i dont even know if i love him anymore the way he's been treating me and zach (when he's nice i know i love him but its been so long since he was...). i cant cope as it is let alone when the new baby is born and hes the one who wanted both the kids, i was happy to wait for years or whatever and do things properly so why am i the one suffering for ALL of his choices?! all my furniture was either gifts or bought out of my inheritence and if i move out he's claiming he wants half as it is i'll prob have to sell most of it to pay his 8 grand debt! i just can't believe how rubbish things have got over time! he doesn't discuss money stuff with me, he makes all the decisions and then expects me to pay for them all!
im just so tired of it all, is it better to just leave or to stay and try and work things out?! what would you do if this were your situation?!
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maz
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maz

Number of posts : 160
Age : 39
Location : Berkshire
Registration date : 2008-03-30

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PostSubject: Re: is it better just to leave?!   is it better just to leave?! Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20 2008, 23:09

Mad Ahhh men hey !!!! Well hun read my pm message, but although a tough dicission not one that aint crossed your mind many times in the past!!!! I mean how many times can u give him the benefit of the doubt or more chances, maybe a trail seperation to clear and sort ur head out might be an option to see what life wuld be with out him. It wuld be one u wuld have to plan see the council see what they can offer to help you out. You cant go on feeling like this it does u no good hun xxxxxxx
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leighann

leighann

Number of posts : 176
Age : 32
Location : EASTBOURNE
Registration date : 2008-03-23

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PostSubject: is it better just to leave?!   is it better just to leave?! Icon_minitimeFri Jul 18 2008, 01:33

hello hun, sorry to hear u are having trouble.Im really not sure what i would do but i think what ever u do u should think before u do it.... maybe u should speak to him about u leaving and see what he says then decide xxx hope you feel better soon hope zach is ok xx
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mum07



Number of posts : 97
Age : 47
Location : staffordshire
Registration date : 2008-03-23

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PostSubject: helloooooooooooooo   is it better just to leave?! Icon_minitimeFri Jul 25 2008, 03:23

im going through somthing simular with my hubby only its me wanting to better myself hubby dont like it, i have worked so ahrd to get my uni place to give it up now because hes jelous. he has some delusion i have someone else lol yeah right!! with seven kids a house to run trying to get to uni when would i get time?
hes drinks so i think ita him being paranoid as he dont work so i think he has too much time on his hands to think.
but we have had to split we trying to work things out but i dont know if they are workable, its the kids i fret for they miss him so bad and im left to tell them where daddy is because he wont come down because it hurts him too much!!!
hurts him? what a load of bull sorry girls but it is?
what do i do though when i start uni he be worse?
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lesley



Number of posts : 195
Registration date : 2008-04-01

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PostSubject: Re: is it better just to leave?!   is it better just to leave?! Icon_minitimeFri Jul 25 2008, 10:54

Firstly he needs to get help for his drinking and then you can start to sort the other problems, if you can work your life round your 7 kids and uni then go for it hun don't let anyone stop you......
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mum07



Number of posts : 97
Age : 47
Location : staffordshire
Registration date : 2008-03-23

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PostSubject: probs with hubby   is it better just to leave?! Icon_minitimeSat Jul 26 2008, 02:27

thenak lesley im going too come to far now to let it pass me by xx
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