HELP i really needsome advise

i really dont know what to do. me and mym mum are at our wits end with my 13yr old sister. she goes to church every sunday and she really likes it, but i have just found out she has been tellin ppl she has been hurtin herself and lots of other stuff but the thing is there is not amark on her to show she has. it seems like she has no recpect for any one mum was beaten up not long ago by her ex and has hurt her knee but my sister wont do any thing to help out and i hate the fact that these ppl she has been talkin to have been sayin we are a bad family. i have tried talkin to her and so has mum so we sent her to her dads while mum is on holiday. i am really worried she is now mixin in with the wrong crowd and she is well HORRIBLE arrrrrr i dont know wot to do with her mum can dealwith it any more any one got any advise?? pls help x x x x x x x x x

Hi Gem,

I know where you are cumin from hun, i too have a teenager from hell, she will be 14 next week. She too is driving me and her dad to distraction.

A great tip i learned after training as a parent faciliator of a fabulious parenting programme called STRENGHTING FAMILIES was to spend SPECIAL TIME with your kids...... 1 hour twice a week with a teenager, where you just have 1 adult/ 1 teenager together where the teenagecan talk to YOU, let them offload all their worries and YOU JUST LISTEN, no criticism, no questions, no directions from YOU. Talk to them about what it was like when you were a teenager and how you felt. If possible make this time the SAME TIME EVERY WEEK, so then they know exactly when they will have their SPECIAL TIME to talk. Tell the teenager/sister/daughter/son/brother etc that you want to spend special time with them because you love him/her.

Give it a try hun it really does work you will be suprised. Its hard at first just to listen and not critice (as i found) but you will be amazed by the results if you give it a try.

Hope that helps hun, and hope to chat soon

luv
T x

thanx hun i will talk to mum about that and see what she says. we have tried to talk to her and asked her to talk to us but it seems to us she dont want to know thanx i will keep u up dated thank you x x x x